A peaceful walk through the gardens at Stone Acres Farm in Stonington, CT.

Hot Take: Anxiety isn’t the enemy. It’s a message you can learn to decode.

It often starts with a dull ache in my chest that tightens like a vice around my lungs. I try to take a deep breath, but it’s like breathing through a straw—shallow, unsatisfying, and scary. My heart races, panic creeps in, and each failed attempt at relief makes the next one harder.

I still remember the first time this happened. I was sure I was having a heart attack. At the hospital, the doctor told me it was anxiety. For years, I thought of anxiety as a wall blocking me from even the simplest tasks. But over time, I realized anxiety wasn’t my enemy—it was my body trying to get my attention. The racing heart, sweaty palms, and tight chest weren’t random symptoms. They were messages.

Here’s what I’ve learned:
We all feel stress and overwhelm—some call it anxiety, others just call it being human. Whatever word you use, the truth is the same: everyone deserves access to support. And yet most of us are left trying to manage on our own, while the news, climate concerns, and social pressures only crank up the volume. No wonder we’re all on edge.

But here’s the reframe that changed everything for me: anxiety doesn’t have to be feared or erased. It’s a signal from your body—and once you learn how to decode it, you can turn it into a tool.

Your Body’s Built-In Calming System

Think of anxiety as your body gearing up for action. That system kept our ancestors alive, but in modern life it often fires off when there’s no real danger. What most people don’t realize is that your body also comes with its own built-in calming system—the parasympathetic nervous system, or the “rest and digest” center. When you activate it, your breath slows, your heart rate eases, and your body remembers: you’re safe.

You don’t need fancy tools to switch it on. A few ideas that work well for me:

Try “4-7-8” breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8).
Take a walk outside.
Grab an ice cube or rub a worry stone to engage your sense of touch.
Play with extending your exhales just a little longer than your inhales.

The point isn’t to eliminate anxiety. It’s to ground your body first, so you can listen to what your mind is really saying.

Taking Back Control

Once your body feels safer, you can get curious: What is my anxiety trying to tell me?

Ask yourself:

What was I just thinking about when this hit me?
Did I remember something I need to do?
Am I dreading a task or call I’ve been putting off?

Anxiety often shows up because we care about something. It can feel paralyzing, but taking one tiny step toward the thing you’re worried about makes the next step easier. And if the feelings creep back, that’s okay—pause, ground, and try again.

Most importantly: give yourself grace. What you’re feeling is real, and you’re not weak for needing tools. Deep breaths, movement, touch, and short breaks are not indulgences—they’re resets.

Here are a few mantras I lean on when fear or frustration spikes:

Everything feels hard before it gets easier.
Yes, I’m uncomfortable—but I’m also growing.
I’ve survived every hard thing in my life so far. I’ll get through this too.
I need to give myself credit for how hard I’m trying. If I keep showing up, life will reward me. (Thank you, Mel Robbins!)

Sometimes I’ll repeat these while rubbing a worry stone or holding something cold, so my body and mind can sync up.

The Bigger Picture

We can’t control the news cycle, the economy, or the comparison trap of social media. But we can control how much power we give them over our mental state. The more we practice activating our body’s natural calm, the more we remember: anxiety isn’t the enemy. It’s just a message. And like any skill, learning to decode it gets easier the more you practice.

I won’t pretend it’s always simple—but it is possible.

You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, and in case no one’s told you this lately, I just want to say I believe in you. You’ve got this!

Disclosure: I am not a licensed mental health professional. The insights and recommendations shared in this piece are based on my personal mental health journey and the techniques I've found helpful along the way. The information provided is not intended as, nor should it be taken as, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or recommendations of any kind. Always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your individual needs or medical conditions. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking treatment because of information you've read in this article. If you are experiencing a medical emergency or in need of medical care, contact a healthcare professional or call emergency services immediately.

Decoding Anxiety